Three Steps To Nowhere
by MooMooMilk
Summary: AU 1x2 3x4. Duo's POV. Duo Maxwell is an ex-soldier from the war. Life is looking down for him, until he meets a certain someone that will change his life forever. But several organizations want Duo for their own, and will stop at nothing to have him.
1. Default Chapter

Three Steps To Nowhere  
  
  
  
Chapter One~  
  
From where I stand, it's fifteen steps till the end of the hall, and five more once I reach the corner. Twenty steps in total. As I begin to walk, I'm once again proud to note that I'm familiar enough with this place so I don't have to feel the walls or use my Stick. I've learned to make my steps completely even, exactly one foot between heel and toe, because if I didn't, I'd be seen doing things like walking into walls and bonking myself senseless on the head.  
  
I admit...I'm still not quite used to my handicap, even though its been five years since the War. I've been through a lot of therapy since then, and I mean a lot. The War cost me nearly everything, my home, my job, my family, my sight.  
  
I'm blind.  
  
The last thing I remember seeing is the sickly yellow gas seeping into the barracks where I was sleeping. The gas was codenamed Pixie Dust. Oz had been developing it for years. I should know, because I had been one of the best spies in the Federation.  
  
Apparently someone had tipped them off, and assassins had been sent to get rid of the leak. They didn't know it was me; just that 'someone' in the barracks was a spy. They were lazy. Instead of going through the ranks with interrogations and questions, they decided to just silence everyone, and all at once.  
  
We were Dusted at midnight. Soldiers woke up from their bunks, screaming in pain, as the Dust was inhaled into their lungs, shriveling the tissue there before moving on to poison their bloodstream.  
  
I was one of the lucky ones. I didn't inhale any of the stuff, but I made the near fatal mistake of opening my eyes. In that one instant, I knew I had messed up. It didn't hurt. My eyes didn't feel any different, and all I knew was that I blinked twice, and couldn't see anything on the second blink.  
  
I don't remember much of what happened next...I mean, it's kinda hard to remember much of anything when you're blind. I think the ceiling caved in or something, because the next thing I knew, I was buried under a near ton of cement. I don't know how I survived. I don't know how Trowa even found me at all. But the main thing is that he did, and now I'm living with him somewhere in an apartment on L1.  
  
The war ended a week after I lost my sight.  
  
I heard from Trowa that the four rebel Gundam Pilots had finally beat the Oz commanders in an all-out battle. When he told me that, I was filled with a mixed feeling of elation and bitterness.  
  
One week! Only one week. Had I become blind for nothing, then? Did any of my spy work and information gathering help with the end of the war at all?  
  
I was sullen for days. No, I was just another casualty that got caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Everything was for nothing.  
  
I'd joined the resistance in order to avenge the deaths of the people around me. I didn't succeed. Hell, I wasn't even recompensed for my loss in the War! If it hadn't been for Trowa, I'd be homeless and wandering...heck, I wouldn't even be alive. I owe Trowa everything. We were child hood friends back when I lived on L2, and we kept in touch throughout the war.  
  
We both worked secretly for the resistance. I was just a plain old spy, but I knew that Trowa was real high op on the status ladder. I never knew where he was until he notified me first, and that wasn't too often. He was always on some top-secret mission somewhere in the solar system.  
  
I guess Trowa was real good at whatever he did, because the moment the war ended, he was awarded a gigantic pile of cash, as well as some really spiffy medals and certificates. I won't lie and say that I wasn't jealous, because I was. I mean, c'mon! We both worked on the same side, but he became a wealthy war hero, while I got to be his homeless, blind sidekick.  
  
Life just wasn't fair.  
  
Well my jealousy lasted only a little while, until I realized that Trowa was paying for all of my medical bills.  
  
Heh, I don't even want to know how much he's wasted on me. According to the doctors when he first brought me into the hospital, I was a 'sick mess' as they so eloquently put it. Not only was I blind, but I swear to god half the bones in my body were broken, and I had lost massive amounts of blood. It took months for me to recuperate.  
  
I'm still not fully healed, even though it's been five long years. The most physically noticeable is my left leg. They tell me tell me that it was fractured so badly that there is no chance for it to heal completely.  
  
I will always limp when I walk, though not too noticeably. My physical therapist tells me to go on short walks every morning and evening, in order to work out my muscles and eliminate the possibility of arthritis. I swear to god sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in the body of an old man. Oh well, at least I'm still alive, right? Although...sometimes, I'm not sure that's such a good thing.  
  
There are twenty more steps till I reach home. I know I'm late already. Trowa's going to be worried.  
  
**********************  
  
Reaching into my pocket, I fumble around for my 'watch' and pull it out, simultaneously pressing the huge button on the front. Immediately, a small- computerized voice announced the time. "Seven twenty-four pm."  
  
Shit, I was nearly half an hour late. Trowa wasn't going to be happy with me at all, considering this was the third time this week that I've been delayed. Well, it's not my fault that the oh-so-yummy ice cream stand at the park has such long lines!  
  
Mmm...Ice cream. What can I say, I have a major sweet tooth, and to me, a double decker chocolate mocha on a cone is simply irresistible.  
  
Steeling myself for the inevitable scolding I was soon to receive, I rang the doorbell. A minute later, the door swung open and I leapt forward with my customary greeting.  
  
"Tro-man!" I exclaimed happily, glomping tightly onto the uni-banged best friend of mine that I knew would be standing there. Glomping is a favorite past time of mine, a habit from my child hood that I don't think I'll ever shake. It's my way of greeting the people I'm close to...namely Trowa and his boy-toy Q-man.  
  
As strange as it might sound, glomping is even more important to me now that I can't see. Since I've only got four of my five senses left, I focus on the one that will give me the most comfort. Touch. I'm addicted to touch, especially hugs. Even though I won't voice it out loud, I feel the safest when I'm wrapped comfortably in someone else's arms.  
  
The warmth keeps the darkness at bay.  
  
Trowa seems to understand this, because he lets me glomp him whenever I want. When I do, he always sighs resignedly and pretends that he's annoyed with me. Secretly, I think Trowa likes my glomps just as much as I like giving them. He has yet to push me away...but even if he did, I think I'd still do it anyway cuz Tro-man's such a warm, glompable thing!  
  
And did I mention that he almost always smells like cinnamon? I say 'almost', because there are those times that he comes home smelling like vanilla, which just tells me that he spent all day with Quatre, hehe.  
  
Speaking of smells...something was different with Trowa today. He didn't smell like the cinnamon or vanilla I'm so used to. Frowning in confusement, I nuzzled my head into Trowa's chest and inhaled deeply.  
  
Strange. Today he smelled like a mixture of slightly spicy cologne, strawberries, and clean aftershave. All in all, not a bad combination. It actually smelled pretty nice.  
  
Sighing in contentment, I decided to hold my glomp a few minutes longer then normal. Hey what can I say, I really liked his new smell. I ignored the nagging feeling in the back of my mind and tightened my grip around his waist, burying my face into the crook of his neck.  
  
Trowa suddenly stiffened and made this really weird choking sound.  
  
Okay...he's never done that before, and I wasn't even holding him that tight! Briefly I considered letting him go, but then quickly dismissed the thought. I was just too comfy where I am.  
  
Distantly I could hear Trowa and Quatre laughing somewhere off to my right. Their loud guffaws...or rather, Quatre's loud guffaws (Trowa kind of just chuckles), were disturbing me from my time of relaxation.  
  
The nagging in my head suddenly increased ten-fold, and all of a sudden, everything clicked into place and I froze.  
  
"Oh no..." I mumbled, feeling my face flush hotly with embarrasment. In a split second, I had unattached myself from 'Trowa', and had put as much distance between us as possible. I coughed weakly to clear my throat.  
  
"Uh...I'm really, really sorry for that..." I apologized meekly to the person I had mistaken for my best friend. "I..thought you were someone else."  
  
There was silence for a long moment, and then..."Apology acceptable." A cold, slightly nasal voice replied.  
  
I winced internally. Great, I knew right off the bat that it was another one of Trowa's old war buddies. I mean, what kind of normal person says 'apology acceptable', and on the first meeting no less? And in such a toneless voice too! Now from experiences, a normal person would say something along the lines of 'It's okay,' or maybe 'No biggie', but 'Apology acceptable'?!  
  
I don't have anything against soldiers, as I used to be one myself, but...let's just say soldiers, real trained soldiers make me uncomfortable. I guess Trowa must've sensed my discomfort, because he stopped chuckling and quickly placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Duo, meet Heero Yuy. He was one of my partners during the War."  
  
Ah, so my suspicions were correct. Forcing a wide smile on my face, I stretched out my hand in Heero's direction for a handshake. "Pleased to meetcha!" I greeted enthusiastically.  
  
I think Heero grunted "Hn." in acknowledgment before placing his hand in my own for a brief but strong shake. His hand felt large and calloused, and I immediately couldn't help but wonder how many people he killed with his bare hands.  
  
"Uh...I'm going to get changed..." I announced, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with my thoughts. I imagined Trowa nodding as he agreed and gently took hold of my arm and lead me to my room.  
  
He stopped at the doorway. "Come out when you're done." He told me quietly. "We have something important to tell you." Those words put a coil of fear in my stomach, and I swallowed hard, nodding.  
  
"Alright." I walked inside and shut the door.  
  
*****************************  
  
You know, back when I could still see, I used to enjoy the times when Trowa said he had something important to tell me. In case you don't know, Trowa's not much of a speaker. He has a word quota of about twenty per day, and it's rare that he ever exceeds that amount.  
  
During the War, Trowa would call me up once every few months, sometimes more depending on his need. He'd mumble "There's something I have to tell you," and he would have my undivided attention.  
  
I'd attach a high frequency scrambler to the phone line so our conversation couldn't be tapped, and Trowa would start speaking.  
  
He would tell me anything and everything that came to mind, his thoughts, feelings, fears, and hopes. He confided in me, and every single time, I was always filled with this awed warmth knowing that he trusted me so deeply, he would bare his weaknesses to me.  
  
For the most part, I would just remain silent, hearing him talk while keeping my thoughts to myself. I knew that what Trowa needed was a listening ear, not a commentator that would discuss his faults and prescribe remedies for them.  
  
That was before.  
  
Trowa doesn't need to talk to me anymore. He has Quatre, who I know is one of the best listeners in the world. Nowadays when Trowa tells me he's got 'important stuff to tell me', I know its bad news.  
  
Usually the news would be from the hospital, who would call to inform us that they either discovered irregularities in my breathing pattern, or that the fracture in my wrist hadn't healed properly and needed to be reset. Stuff like that...which certainly isn't the type of information I look forward to hearing.  
  
In fact, I'm practically paranoid about it. Hospitals equal pain, and pain makes me feel fear. It's only natural.  
  
So here I am, sprawled out on my bed, trying to will away the panic that had gripped me so tightly it was hard to breathe. I could hear Quatre's muffled voice from beyond the door. They were probably waiting for me.  
  
With a sigh, I sit up from the bed and feel my way towards the closet. Trowa was kind enough to divide my clothes into sections for me; casual shirts and pants on the right, more formal wear on the left, and a bunch of my favorite big fluffy sweaters and pajamas stuff in the middle.  
  
I pull out one of the overly large sweaters and a pair of what feels like denim jeans.  
  
Trowa tells me that all my clothes are black, so I don't wonder what color they are. Since he's the one that picks out my clothes, I feel okay with what I wear because he's also got the best sense of fashion in the world.  
  
Quickly I strip down to my boxers and slip into my clean clothes. The dirty ones are thrown carelessly on to the floor, and I pull on a pair of socks from a basket underneath my bed.  
  
Fumbling on my dresser for a comb, I deftly unbraid my hair and brush it out before braiding it back up. My braid is my single most precious possession. I started growing it out right after Oz completely trashed the city I used to live in. I was only seven years old then, but I can still remember the day all too well.  
  
My entire family was killed in that attack, which left me homeless and orphaned. Now when I think back on the incident, I can still feel a twinge of pain, but for the most part, my emotions have dulled with time, though not enough for me to completely forget.  
  
There are two reasons why I decided to grow out my hair. One is that my mother used to keep her own hair in a long braid ever since I could remember. I grew my own in remembrance of her.  
  
The second reason is that my braid is the only thing that can't be taken away from me. It's mine, and mine alone. I know it sounds strange, but just think of it as a soldier's mentality. I swore to myself that I would never cut it, and I haven't. It's practically down to my knees now, and more of an annoying hindrance then I would like...but a promise is a promise. I don't lie, even to myself.  
  
There, all finished. Tying the end of it with a rubber band, I throw the rope of hair over my shoulder and began to walk out.  
  
I was prepared for whatever Trowa had in store for me.  
  
***************************  
  
The moment I walked into the living room, everyone stopped talking and I could feel all eyes on me. There was an uncomfortable silence, and I felt like squirming under their scrutiny.  
  
"Uh...Trowa?" I asked timidly, unsure of what was going on.  
  
"Come here and sit down, Duo." Quatre called to me politely. I followed the sound of his voice and plopped down next to him on the leather sofa. "So what's up?" I chirped cheerily, flashing them my brightest grin.  
  
"Quatre why don't you tell him." Trowa spoke up from across from me.  
  
"Tell me what?" I asked hesitently. I was afraid that this was going to be more bad news from the hospital. I needn't have worried however, because what came next would change me forever.  
  
Quatre's voice nearly bubbled with excitement when he began to speak. "Duo, you've heard of Doctor J, haven't you?!" I nodded. "Yeah, I've heard of him. Isn't he the genius guy that developed break-through technology that helped win the war?"  
  
"Yes! Well it turns out that a year ago, Doctor J began working on a new machine that could be used to...reverse the effects of Pixie Dust..."  
  
I was beginning to understand where this conversation was heading. "Go on.." I urged, trying in vain to keep the rising excitement from out of my voice. Quatre took a deep breath and continued, "Well apparently he finished the prototype yesterday...and sent Heero to ask if you wanted to be the first to...try it."  
  
I was over-whelmed. My heart froze in my chest. "He..Heero..?" I repeated dumbly, still not quite sure if I had heard correctly.  
  
"What Quatre says is correct." Heero's cold voice confirmed from out of nowhere. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke. He was so quiet that I thought he had left.  
  
"So...so you guys are saying...that I have a chance of getting my sight back?" I asked incredulously in a trembling voice. What I was hearing was too good to be true. I still had my doubts.  
  
"Exactly." Trowa replied. His voice was quiet but firm. I believed him.  
  
"That's...that's great..." I commented in an awed voice, drawing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I huddled in the corner of the sofa, rocking myself back and forth slowly.  
  
I still couldn't comprehend the enormity of the situation, and my brain had yet to process the fact that one of my dreams, a dream that I had never believed in was finally going to come true.  
  
I guess living five years in complete darkness did something to my head because the next thing I knew, my face was buried in my knees and I was crying. I couldn't stop myself no matter how hard I tried. My tears gushed in torrents and I could feel my body quivering violently from my exertions.  
  
"Duo...? Are you alright?" Quatre asked uncertainly, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.  
  
My tears stopped abruptly like someone had just turned off the faucet, and the sane part of my mind that had somehow lost control of the situation, watched in horror as I began to laugh.  
  
Actually that's an understatement. An insane cackling was more like it. I shot up from my position on the couch and started dancing madly around the living room, crashing into pieces of furniture and knocking over what could only be vases and picture frames.  
  
It must've looked like I truly lost my mind, and I can only imagine the expressions on everyone's faces as they watched me twirl around, whooping and cackling as the room was slowly demolished around them.  
  
Then I slipped on the carpet and smacked my head loudly against something hard, harder then my head if that was possible. It might've been the wall.  
  
I awoke to the worst headache I've ever had in the world. Shit, what the hell happened? I was lying on something soft, and someone was slowly wiping my forehead with what felt like a wet towel.  
  
"...Duo, are you awake?" Trowa asked. I knew he had spoken quietly, but to me, it seemed as if he had shouted in my ear. My head throbbed.  
  
Groaning uncomfortably, I attempted to sit up, and hands came out of nowhere to assist me.  
  
"Don't tell me I blacked out..." I grumble out loud, knowing somehow that it was exactly what had happened. Trowa sighed. "You're the first person I've ever known that got knocked unconscious by the wall." his tone was bland, but I could detect an undercurrent of humor in his voice.  
  
I scowled. "Where's Quatre?"  
  
The...whatever I was sitting on dipped slightly and I knew that Trowa had sat down beside me. Instinctively I exhaled and leaned against his side, resting my pounding head against what was probably his shoulder.  
  
"He left to get us some dinner." Trowa replied shortly. "He should be coming back soon."  
  
At the mention of dinner, my headache suddenly vanished, and energy rushed into my body. "Really?" I exclaimed happily, "What are we getting?"  
  
Trowa snorted and I felt him gently brush the bangs from my face. "Knowing Quatre, it's probably some gourmet food that costed thirty credits a plate." I smile contentedly, thinking of oven-roasted chicken with herbs and a side of creamy crab- meat pasta, lightly seasoned with nutmeg and a garnish on the side.  
  
Quatre was nineteen years old, just like me...yet he had somehow managed to secure a fortune that could probably buy him anything he wanted in the world. The guy was rich, insanely rich. I swear to god he lives in a mansion the size of a city!  
  
I know this because three months ago, Quatre had invited us over for a visit, and I ended up spending a week lost and alone, wandering the miles of hallways and corridors that made up his home. It had been horrible, and I had nearly gone insane from the silence alone.  
  
They found me eventually, when I decided to just sit in one place and scream my head off. Quatre had been so embarrased. But it was partly my fault too. I was stupid enough to wander off without Trowa by my side.  
  
Well after my little adventure in Quatre's city-sized mansion, which was practically ninety-five percent empty, I begged Quatre to stay with us because I thought it was lonely for him to live by himself in such a huge home. Surprisingly Quatre agreed, and has been staying with us for the past month.  
  
He's so nice to me...I really am grateful for Quatre's friendship.  
  
It was an hour later when we were in the middle of eating our gourmet carrots and steaks when I finally remembered what had gone on earlier that day. My fork clattered to the table.  
  
"Oh my god..."  
  
After my embarrassing black out, I had completely forgot about the wonderful news Heero had brought with him earlier today. Speaking of Heero...I shot up from my seat so fast the chair probably knocked over.  
  
"Heero! Where's Heero?!" I stammered, nearly hyperventilating with excitement. "Where's Heero? I need to talk to him!"  
  
"Shh...Duo." Quatre rested his hands calmingly on my shoulders. "Heero left right after you...um...passed out. But don't worry, we know all that he knows, so you can ask us for the information."  
  
I took a deep breath and slowed my pounding heart. "Ok...so...so when do I go in?" The fork was placed in my hand again, and I resumed eating to the best of my ability.  
  
"You go in tomorrow." Trowa answered. "Heero will arrive around seven tomorrow morning to pick you up. Doctor J's laboratory is eight hours away by bullet-train, and another two hours by car. Unfortunately, Quatre and I cannot go with you, as the laboratory is a top secret facility...but we will go see you once the operation is over."  
  
I swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the aspect of being left alone with Heero. That guy hadn't sounded too friendly when we were first introduced. "Uh...how long will this operation take?" I asked timidly.  
  
Trowa sighed. "A week. This operation is actually a series of small laser treatments, and for convenience, Doctor J decided to provide accommodations for you while you are there."  
  
I groaned aloud, but didn't really mind. I'd gladly stay there for the rest of my life if it meant getting my sight back. Quatre giggled...he does that a lot..."When you come back in a week, Duo, there will be a surprise waiting for you!"  
  
I grinned. "Thanks, you guys. I dunno what I'd be without you." I didn't have to see to know that they both smiled.  
  
That night I couldn't sleep.  
  
**********************  
  
The next day felt like it would never come. I hadn't slept a wink that night...too busy thinking of the things that I'd like to see first once the operation was over. After the next week, I wouldn't have to picture things in my head anymore.  
  
With happy thought, I got up at six and showered, then fumbled my way into the kitchen and tried my hardest to make a decent breakfast with the microwave...since Trowa didn't trust me with the stove anymore.  
  
The doorbell rang while I was still in the kitchen, eating my microwaved bacon and eggs.  
  
"I'll get it!" Quatre shouted from the next room. If Quatre was awake, then that meant Trowa was too. I was right when I heard the shower turn on. Hey what can I say, this place has really thin walls...I heard the front door swing open, and then everything from there became a bad nightmare.  
  
"He-Hey! Who are you guys?" Quatre's voice rang out suspiciously.  
  
I frowned and strained my ears for the reply. There wasn't one. Instead, Quatre let out a startled yelp, and then there was silence. The silence stretched on for several minutes.  
  
I was getting chills down my spine. What the hell just happened? Trowa was probably thinking the same thing, because the sound of the shower immediately ceased. "Quatre?" Trowa's muffled voice asked worriedly from inside the bathroom.  
  
The greasy bacon still in my mouth suddenly made me wanna hurl. I swallowed hard and placed the plate and fork silently on the counter with unsteady hands.  
  
Then the footsteps started.  
  
Judging from the sounds they made against the carpet, I could tell that there were at least three people. Their steps were hard and heavy...definitely not Quatre.  
  
Who were these intruders? Assassins? Thieves? I didn't know, but my breathing quickly became erratic, and my heartbeat was so loud that the sound of it filled my ears. I was scared shitless.  
  
The door to the bathroom creaked open, and it wasn't hard to imagine Trowa walking out of there, a white towel wrapped around his waist, soap suds glistening in his hair. I bit my lip. Now was definitely not the time to fantasize about my best friend and old-time crush.  
  
"Quatre! Is everything alright?" Trowa's voice was louder then usual, slightly tinged with panic. "Did something happen to Duo?" His voice was coming nearer, and the ominous footsteps paused.  
  
I wanted to yell at him to run, to get away before something bad happened and he ended up like Quatre. Quatre...oh my god, I didn't even know what happened to Quatre! He could be dead, or close to it.  
  
NO! I couldn't let something happen to Trowa. Not Trowa. Swallowing my fear, I took a deep breath and counted to three. "TROWA! There are intruders in the house! Get out! Find help!" I screamed as loudly as I could, my voice piercing through the thick silence like a gunshot in a chapel.  
  
Two things happened at once. Trowa cursed loudly from wherever he was, and the heavy footsteps started again, much faster, and heading towards my direction. Gods, they were coming for me?! I couldn't see! I'd be completely defenseless...no, wait! Throwing open a kitchen drawer, I pulled out a handful of steak knives just as the door to the kitchen squeaked open.  
  
Steeling myself, I drew back my arm and let one knife fly forward in the direction of the door.  
  
Thunk. Someone screamed hoarsely and my lips involuntarily twitched upwards. It was good to know that I still had the touch. However my small victory was short-lived because a gloved hand suddenly closed around my wrist and I was dragged to the floor with a yelp.  
  
Shit. I didn't even hear the second person sneaking up on me until it was too late. The cold metal barrel of a gun was pushed roughly against the back of my head, and I trembled so hard the remaining knives slipped out of my hand and clattered to the floor.  
  
"You're coming with us." Someone growled into my ear. "Don't you dare try calling for help, pretty-boy. Your blonde friend has been tranquilized and the other will be taken care of too. Do as we say and you won't get hurt." I nodded shakily, and my kidnapper yanked me off the floor. "Put your hands behind your back, and walk."  
  
We shuffled into the silent living room. "Tr-Trowa?" I called out timidly, earning a sharp jab in the back. Faintly I could hear Trowa's muffled shouting, and a lot of pounding. "He's barricaded in a closet." The voice next to me explained with a humorless chuckle. "And he's also taken out my other partner. You've got some kind of friend if he could take out Alpha.  
  
"Whatcha gonna do to me?" I asked in a shaky voice.  
  
"The Boss wanted you alive so now I'm gonna bring you to him."  
  
"So...you're not gonna kill me."  
  
"Naw, not yet. Like I said, I gotta take you to the Boss. You sure did a number on Beta there though; knife got him right in the heart. Too bad."  
  
"...You don't sound very unhappy about the fact that your partners are dead."  
  
He laughed and I cringed. "Of course not! Now that they're dead, I'll get to be Alpha! Can you believe it? Three weeks into the business and I'm already gonna be at the top of the ladder.  
  
This guy was a complete idiot. He was basically telling me that he was an inexperienced, power hungry fool. With all my training, I might actually have a chance at getting away, even without my eyes.  
  
"Move." The guy growled, pushing me towards the direction of the door. "And watch out for your friend on the ground. Move right three paces." A wave of anger washed over me. I felt sick and disgusted with myself. I used to be one of the elite spies during the war! Just because I was blind didn't mean that I had to be completely helpless.  
  
And my captor was stupid anyway. He was only a rookie, and there was no way I'd go down without a fight.  
  
I was held at gunpoint until we were out the front door. The moment I felt hard marble beneath my feet, I bolted down the hall, ignoring his cries of protest. The guy said he needed me alive, so the chance that he wouldn't shoot me was very likely. Boy was I wrong.  
  
The first shot whistled right past my ear, and the second one went straight through my side.  
  
The pain took me by surprise and I collapsed to the floor with a sharp hiss. "You shouldn't have run!" He called out cheerfully. I mentally berated myself. Weak, Maxwell. Taken down by only one hit? That's pathetic. And by a psychotic rookie besides...unforgivable. I gritted my teeth, remembering the times when I could take three shots and keep running.  
  
The guy had won and he knew it. I was on the verge of passing out from blood-loss anyway. There was no more fight left in me.  
  
Suddenly the elevator dinged and the sound of the doors rolled open. I took the chance that my captor would be startled by the sound, and scrambled the few feet into the elevator, ignoring the white hot stab of pain that came from my jarred wound...as well as the shrill, ear bursting scream of a woman that had accompanied the elevator on its trip up.  
  
Gunshots rained around us, and I ducked to the side, but not before a bullet grazed my cheek, giving me another pain to deal with. The woman was still screaming.  
  
"Shut up and shut the fucking doors!" I yelled. The control panel wasn't on my side, so I knew it was on hers unless she was stupid enough to stand in the middle and get shot. By now I was more scared then angry because any moment now, my crazy kidnapper would barge his way into the elevator and murder us all.  
  
Judging from the bullet wound in my side, it probably really didn't matter whether he brought me in alive or dead, though I'd much rather prefer alive.  
  
The rolling of the doors told me that the woman had finally pushed the 'doors close' button, even if she hadn't stopped screaming. It was just in time too, because the moment the doors slid shut, the sound of a heavy body slamming against it reverberated throughout the compartment.  
  
The elevator began to move downwards, and I realized the woman must've pressed another button. She was still gasping loudly and whimpering, but thankfully her screams had subsided. Geez...maybe I was kinda lucky to have the rookie be the one to kidnap me...even though he shot me pretty bad.  
  
An experienced guy would've just barged into the elevator and grabbed me. I wasn't armed except for my fingernails, and completely blind to boot. Heh, he probably really wanted to kill me. Thank gods for war experience and idiot kidnappers.  
  
"A-Are you alright?" A deep, manly voice asked me softly.  
  
I nearly jumped up in fright. "Who's there!" I demanded, huddling closer to the corner of the elevator.  
  
Another whimper and a sniffle.  
  
"You...you're bleeding!" The man's voice exclaimed, alarmed.  
  
"Yeah, I got shot. Um...how many people are in here?"  
  
"Just you and me." The man replied, his voice sounding closer then before. "Hey...do you need any help? You don't look so good." I would've laughed if my blood wasn't pouring all over the floor. "You scream like a woman." I told him dryly. "What floor are we heading to?"  
  
The man sniffled again, seemingly not offended by my remark. "Ground floor." It sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "I...I was so scared when the shooting started." He wailed, making all sorts of pitiful blubbering noises.  
  
I sighed. Just my luck to be stuck in the elevator with a wuss of a man. The guy poked me in the shoulder. "H..Hey! Keep your eyes open." He whispered. "Don't fall asleep! You gotta protect me from that psycho out there!" I groaned aloud.  
  
"Mister, I'm blind. I've been shot pretty bad, and if you hadn't noticed, I'm bleedin' all over the floor. Now shut up and leave me alone!" He fell quiet with another one of those annoying whimpers.  
  
The good thing about our elevator was that it moved nearly as fast as those bullet trains in downtown. I didn't have to worry about my abductor going to a lower level and stopping the elevator from there, because the elevator would be going faster then he could get down the fire escape. Nowadays, elevators have to be fast because apartment buildings are super high, and ours had about nine hundred floors.  
  
Trowa and I lived on the seventh hundred floor.  
  
I was fighting a losing battle with unconsciousness. My head hurt, my cheek stung...my bullet wound felt like it was on fire. My entire body was sore. And to top it all off, I was so worried about my friends upstairs that I felt like throwing up.  
  
What if that psycho went back to kill them...and I couldn't do anything about it because I was trapped in here?  
  
I sighed and leaned back against the carpeted wall behind me, trying to think of positive things. Nah, Trowa used to be in the War like me. He was good enough not to get killed by that guy.  
  
The doors to the elevator swished open with a ding.  
  
We had reached ground floor already. Gritting my teeth, I staggered to my feet painfully and couldn't help but slump against the wall with a low groan. It hurt so much..."Hey mister, d'ya think you can gimme a hand here?" I asked softly.  
  
No answer.  
  
I scowled. Had the wuss bolted already? I can't believe people sometimes. Here I am, bleeding to death and all he can do is run to save his own hide? Come to think of it, I hadn't even heard him leave. Damn, I must be more out of it then I thought.  
  
With a long suffering sigh, I staggered out of the elevator, fighting every urge to collapse in a small heap on the floor. I couldn't give up. My friends were counting on me. One, I needed a phone to all the police. Two, I needed medical help and fast. But I couldn't complete number one without getting to the apartment's receptionists desk, which was a good five minutes walk away.  
  
I was also paranoid about the guy who had shot me. Even though I had gotten a head start on him, it was only a matter of time before he caught me, especially if he was using the elevators.  
  
I walked faster...err; rather, I staggered faster, my footsteps echoed loudly in the silent hallway, which only increased my discomfort. It was harder to remember which directions I had to take, and how many steps I had already taken. Twice I accidentally bumped into a wall, which jarred my wound and made it all the more tempting to give up.  
  
I was two halls away from my destination when someone grabbed me.  
  
My heart wrenched sickeningly in my chest. Oh Gods no, I had been caught! I had let Trowa and Quatre down! I was doomed!  
  
I struggled against the large, strong hands of my captor. "Let me go god damn you!" I shrieked, twisting in his firm grasp and kicking him to the best of my ability.  
  
I was hysterical, and I didn't care. If this guy wanted me, he was gonna have to take all that I could dish out. I scratched, I punched, and I kicked as hard as I could...which wasn't much. My entire world was a burning bright red...even though I couldn't see that color. I was filled with rage, with hurt, with pain, and my head was so clouded that I almost didn't register the voice that spoke to me. It was low and masculine, yet tinged with a hint of urgency.  
  
"Don't move! I'm not going to hurt you. You're bleeding, let me help!"  
  
Distantly I noted that this voice was different then the one of my captors. My struggles slowed, and then ceased altogether. "Who...wha-" I asked hoarsely before falling into a fit of coughing.  
  
I was at the end of my strength. Fighting had taken its toll on me, and this new guy was probably not very surprised when my knees buckled and I began to fall.  
  
He caught me.  
  
I felt myself being lifted up in to strong, sure arms and cradled against a hard chest that smelled faintly of strawberries and spice. It was a familiar scent...  
  
"Heero? Is...that...you?" I mumbled softly.  
  
"Aa."  
  
"Thank gods." I heard myself whisper, before losing consciousness. 


	2. Chapter Two

Three Steps To Nowhere  
  
  
  
Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!^_^!! This is my first story, and I was feeling unsure about whether or not I should continue. But your reviews really motivated me, and I'm glad that people are reading my story. I'm very unsatisfied with this chapter, and the characters are very OOC. Oh well.  
  
~This is strictly 1x2 3x4. As for disclaimers, Gundam Wing isn't mine.  
  
Chapter Two~ Duo's POV  
  
I hate blacking out.  
  
The years after my horrible experience with Pixie Dust, I blacked out at least once every few months from either pain or fatigue. It was a while before I became stronger, and pretty soon the number of times it happened went down.  
  
Last year, I was real proud 'cause I only blacked out once.  
  
So needless to say, I was extremely cranky with myself for blacking out twice in two consecutive days. And the fact that both times I woke up with a headache the size of a hippo didn't help matters any.  
  
Again, I was lying on something soft, a firm pillow was beneath my head, and the feel of a thick, heavy blanket was drawn all the way up to my neck.  
  
It was smothering me.  
  
I sighed heavily and listened for the sound of someone close by. Nope. Only me...which meant that I was alone, and probably in a room somewhere. I quickly threw off my covers, wincing when the sudden movement tightened the shredded muscles around my bullet wound.  
  
Yup, that's right. I remembered everything that happened before I fainted; the psycho, how I got shot, the elevator, and Heero. Since I was still alive, it meant that Heero had gotten me somewhere safe, and I was in good hands.  
  
Now...if only I knew whether or not Trowa and Quatre were okay.  
  
Groaning softly, I painstakingly pulled myself into a sitting position, and leaned against the headboard. Gods. All my muscles felt weak and sluggish. It was an effort just to sit up! I wonder how long I've been unconscious...  
  
With another sigh, I reached up with my left hand and was about to brush limp, dirty bangs from my face, when my fingers encountered a large patch of roughness on my cheek. Oh yeah...I almost forgot that my kidnapper had nicked me in the elevator. God damn bastard.  
  
Touching the scab grossed me out, so I quickly dropped my hand to my lap. The scab was about the size of a quarter, but it didn't feel like it was going to leave a scar, which was good...but I didn't like touching it anyway.  
  
I was wondering where my savior was when the light swooshing of an electric door drew my attention. "Good. You're awake." A cold monotone voice that could only be Heero's rang out quietly. I forced a grin. "Yup. Would ya mind telling me what's going on?" My voice sounded real hoarse.  
  
The sound of Heero's footsteps neared my bed, and one end of my mattress dipped downward. "After you passed out, I brought you to the hospital. From there you were transferred to Doctor J's laboratory."  
  
"How long have I been out?"  
  
"Three days." My jaw dropped.  
  
"Th-Three days?!" I repeated incredulously. No wonder I felt so weak. Seventy-two hours of lying in a bed really turned my muscles into jelly...not to mention the fact that my body was also weak from not having anything to eat for so long..  
  
"You lost a massive amount of blood, which prolonged your unconscious state." Heero explained. "With a few days of rest, and healthy food, you will be fine." Just then my stomach growled loudly, and I flushed in embarrassment. "Yeah...food sounds pretty good right about now." I agreed.  
  
Heero's large palm was suddenly pressed lightly to my forehead. He withdrew it after a moment. "Your fever is almost gone. You may come to the cafeteria with me." Great...I had a fever too? Ah well.  
  
Fighting the urge to groan, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and pushed myself up unsteadily. Cold hardness beneath my feet told me that I was barefoot, and it also made me wonder what I was wearing. The flimsy thing I had on certainly didn't feel like my warm sweater and jeans. I decided to ask.  
  
"Uh...Heero...what am I wearing? And where are my shoes?"  
  
"You're wearing a standard issue hospital gown, and there are a pair of slippers an inch to the left of your right foot." Came my prompt reply. "Your clothes have been thrown away, and you hadn't been wearing any shoes when I found you."  
  
Ah. I remember now. Frowning to myself, I slipped the slippers onto my feet, and took a few small steps in order to test the strength of my legs. Wobbly, but all right. I smoothed down my hospital gown and sighed. "I can't go anywhere looking like this." I complained in a tired voice. "I remember what standards look like, and they aren't very decent."  
  
Indeed I could feel that the paperish-plastic hem of my gown only reached mid-thigh. My legs were uncomfortably bare, as was a large portion of my back where the flaps had come loose. Heero was suddenly at my side. "The time is eleven in the morning. All the workers have already left, and no one will see you if that is what you're afraid of."  
  
I bit my lip and sighed. "Alright then." No point in arguing. Besides, I was extremely hungry.  
  
"Since there are no more objections, take my arm and I will lead you." He placed a hand on my shoulder. Reaching up tentatively, I took Heero's offered hand in my own and felt my way up his forearm until I reached his elbow. His skin felt warm to my touch. I hooked my hand loosely around his elbow and nodded my readiness.  
  
The trip to the cafeteria was probably longer then it should've been. The still healing wound in my side ached, and the limp I'd gotten from the War twinged most uncomfortably since I hadn't been exercising it. I leaned more on Heero then I felt was comfortable, but he didn't complain. It took us ten minutes to reach the cafeteria...which was probably double the usual time.  
  
We walked in near complete silence.  
  
Heero didn't say anything except for a few short phrases that consisted of "Watch your step." or "There are stairs here." Normally I would've been annoyed, but I was lost in my own thoughts, too busy thinking of my strange situation to make any conversation. Heero didn't seem like the conversing type anyway. I mentally sighed.  
  
Trowa and Quatre.  
  
I needed to know that they were okay. Heero hadn't mentioned them yet, so I made up my mind to ask him about them later. He would know for sure. If it was bad news...if Trowa and Quatre were hurt, or even worse, dead...I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Especially Trowa. He was my last link to the past, my savior, my caretaker, and my best friend.  
  
If Trowa was dead...then I'm not sure what I'd do.  
  
"We're here." Heero said shortly. He led me to a table and set me down in a chair. "Wait here. I will get you some food." I nodded absently, and my thoughts suddenly turned to Heero. I found myself frowning. Who was he exactly? I didn't know, but I already trusted him.  
  
If he was a friend of Trowa's, then he was a friend of mine. Trowa doesn't have many friends, but the few ones he does have are extremely loyal and close to him.  
  
Wait a second.  
  
When Trowa had introduced Heero to me, he hadn't said 'friend'. He had said 'partner', which was a completely different thing. A partner from the war.  
  
I furrowed my brow. If Heero was a war hero like Trowa, then why in the world was he working for a scientist like Doctor J? Although famous, I've heard that Doctor J isn't exactly a fun person to be around with. He's a crazy genius, and there were many rumors a while ago that he had experimented on humans during the War.  
  
Now why would Heero want to work for someone like that?  
  
No...I was assuming things. How would I know if Heero was working for J? Trowa hadn't exactly given me much information about him, and all I knew was that he was supposed to fetch me for the operation. Apparently, he was taking care of me as well.  
  
I rubbed my temples. Thinking about Heero made my head hurt. For now, I would trust him until I learned more of his occupation and who he was.  
  
Heero came back a few minutes later, placed something in front of me, and simultaneously shoved a metal utensil in my right hand.  
  
"Eat." He commanded. I heard him settle into a chair across from me. Leaning forward, I inhaled deeply. The smell of eggs, bacon, and sausages filled my nostrils and made my salivatory glands go into overload. I didn't waste any time digging into my meal.  
  
Since I couldn't see, I randomly stabbed my fork (as it turned out to be) on the plate, discovering to my relish that Heero had also prepared me waffles, slices of various fruit, and buttered toast on the same plate. I just couldn't smell it earlier.  
  
It was all very delicious, and the moment I started eating, my headache disappeared. I was so hungry that after I polished everything off, I raised the empty platter to my lips and licked all the leftover syrup and bacon grease off.  
  
Heero grunted in disapproval, but I ignored him and set the plate down. "Are there any seconds?!" I asked hopefully.  
  
Wordlessly, I heard him rise and take my plate. When he came back, he placed a cold bowl in my left hand and a metal spoon in my right. "Cereal." He explained, settling again into the seat across from me. "Too much sugar and grease is unhealthy."  
  
I pouted, but began eating the cereal anyway. It was corn flakes mixed with chunks of strawberries and honeyed oats. As I ate, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the silence. What was Heero doing? Was he just watching me eat?! I'm not exactly one of the neatest eaters in the world, especially when I've been starved for three days. If Heero was watching me eat, then I was gonna be embarrassed.  
  
Swallowing the food in my mouth, I placed my half empty bowl back on the table.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.  
  
"Waiting for you to finish." Came my toneless reply.  
  
I suddenly felt extremely stupid. Ah well, if we were having a conversation right now, I might as well ask him the more important questions on my mind.  
  
"Heero...what happened at Trowa's apartment? Are...are Trowa and Quatre alright?" I sucked my lip into my mouth and chewed on it nervously.  
  
"Preventers arrived ten minutes after you collapsed." Heero explained. "The apartment complex was secured, and your intruder was killed as he tried to escape the building. Trowa and Quatre are alive. They have been relocated to one of Quatre's mansions on Earth."  
  
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were all right. I didn't have to worry after all. Smiling a little, I reached out to pick up my cereal bowl when the last part of Heero's sentence suddenly sank into my head, and I scowled deeply.  
  
"Earth?! They went to Earth and left me here?! Trowa abandoned me for real?!!"  
  
Heero snorted. "He did not abandon you. He left you in my care, and Doctor J has also given me orders to protect you and make sure you are alive for the time being. It is my mission."  
  
I paled. "What do you mean 'make sure I'm alive'? I thought the guys after me had been killed! Don't tell me someone else is after my blood!" I heard the squeak of Heero's chair. "There is a certain organization that is responsible for sending those intruders to your apartment. Beyond that I cannot say."  
  
"You can't or you won't?" I countered, feeling the build up of frustration in my head.  
  
"Does it matter? I will keep you safe. Do not doubt my ability. I have never failed a mission."  
  
I realized that this was the second time Heero had mentioned the word 'mission', and it sparked my curiosity. From what I knew, 'mission' was a term that soldiers used during the war. I hadn't heard that word in a long time. "What do you mean by mission? Isn't the war over? There aren't anymore missions."  
  
There was a long silence, punctuated only by Heero's suddenly harsh breathing. The silence stretched and I found myself fidgeting. "Um...Heero, are you alright? Did I say something wrong?"  
  
"That's a lie!" Heero suddenly growled out menacingly.  
  
I was taken aback. "...What? How am I lying? What'd I say?" My initial confusion was slowly giving rise to anger. How dare this man accuse me of lying? As far as I knew, I hadn't lied since my parents died because I promised them I wouldn't, and I keep my promises.  
  
I opened my mouth to retort again, but Heero cut me off before anything came out. "Say another word and I will kill you." He growled. O...kay...well that was kind of random. I cocked my head to one side. "Hey...if you kill me, wouldn't that mean that you'd fail your 'mission' then?"  
  
"Shut up." Heero warned, and if it were possible, my vision would've turned red. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists, and began to quiver with suppressed rage. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I didn't understand what was going on.  
  
Had I missed something important? Did I say something so wrong that caused Heero to threaten to kill me? But...I don't even know what I said! Heero also told me to shut up. Now that was what got me up in flames. *No one* was allowed to tell Duo Maxwell to shut up. No one. I began to tremble with anger.  
  
"Now listen here!" I suddenly exploded out crossly. "I think I deserve more respect from you! You've treated me oddly from the first time we met. I can understand it if you don't like me for whatever reason, but I don't want to hear you threatening me with death, or telling me to shut up or anything! In case you wanna know, I don't like you either! But...you don't hear me threatening you with anything! So don't threaten me! I...I have feelings, you know!" I finished lamely.  
  
Heero didn't say anything, and I stood up, feeling oddly satisfied with myself. "I'm...gonna go back to bed." I muttered.  
  
I waited for a reply and was not surprised when I didn't hear one. I could sense that Heero was still there, but if he didn't have anything more to say to me, then that was fine.  
  
I turned to leave. Having memorized the way to the cafeteria when we first arrived, going back alone was gonna be a cinch.  
  
"Wait." Heero suddenly said, so softly that I almost missed it. I stopped and inclined my head towards his direction, but kept silent.  
  
Heero came up behind me and placed his hand lightly on my shoulder. "I'm...sorry." He began, and it seemed like a struggle for him to get the words out. "I was...rude...and that was wrong...of me. Would you...like me to help you on the way back?"  
  
Even though I was still a bit angry, his apology made me smile. I gladly accepted his aid and hooked my hand around his elbow again, even though I was capable of going back on my own.  
  
I thought about lots of stuff as we walked back, mostly about my future, and a little bit about Heero.  
  
It still amazes me that I might get my sight back. Every time I think about it, my heart beats faster, and I feel like going crazy with joy. But...I don't, of course. The memory of knocking myself out on the wall is still fresh in my mind, and my cheeks burn with embarrassment at the very thought of it. Heero had seen me when I did that. Gods...he must think I'm a total idiot. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he hasn't tried to be friendly with me.  
  
Oh well. Heero surprises me. I don't know what to think of him, and it makes me uncomfortable. I didn't think trained soldiers like himself knew how to apologize.  
  
My opinion of him hasn't changed very much; I still think he's probably a cold, ruthless killer, but because of the apologizing thingy, I feel that he has the potential to change.  
  
~*~*~*~*~$~*~*~*~*~  
  
When we arrived at my room, Heero led me to the bed and I sat down with a sigh of relief. My leg had been hurting again, and I was really in pain even though I tried not to show it. I was weak enough as it was, and I didn't want Heero to think of me as completely pathetic.  
  
The walk had taken more out of me then I thought possible, and all I wanted to do was nurse my aches and fall into a deep sleep. Oh, and I didn't want Heero to be there anymore, his presence made me tense and tired. He was probably sick of taking care of me anyway.  
  
So imagine my surprise when Heero sat down next to me and offered in a low, quiet voice..."You're in pain. Do you want me to massage that leg for you?"  
  
I swear I gaped stupidly for a full minute before nodding. Hey, even though I didn't like Heero, I wasn't going to turn down a free massage.  
  
And boy...could Heero massage!  
  
His hands moved surely and firmly over my aching leg. He kneaded the right places, reducing the pain to a near non-existent twinge. He seemed to know exactly where I was having the most trouble, like that spot behind my kneecap, and the area by my ankle. I lay down on the bed and sighed happily as he worked.  
  
He must've done this before, I mused to myself sleepily. He was a professional at the very least, and I mentally reminded myself to ask him for another massage some other day.  
  
Ten minutes passed, and I was about to drift off into dreamland when Heero's sudden question brought me crashing back to awareness.  
  
"What did you say?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I had heard right.  
  
Heero's hands rested on my calf. "Your scars." He repeated. "Where did you get all these scars?"  
  
I involuntarily stiffened. To say or not to say? "Uh...they're from the War." I finally replied uncomfortably. "What about 'em? Are they...are they hideous?" Now this was a question that I had never asked before, and I found myself wondering why.  
  
I haven't seen myself in five years. That coupled with the fact that I've been through more surgeries then I can count...I suddenly realized that I might look like Frankenstein's monster and not even know it.  
  
Heero brushed his fingers gently along the length of my calf, causing me to fidget nervously. "No...no they're not." He replies softly. "They're actually barely visible, but I have good eyes." I breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah...Trowa told me that he hired the best doctors in the world to work on me, and I think they used a type of laser to seal up the wounds instead of stitchin' it together."  
  
"Trowa's a smart man." Heero replied, and began massaging my leg again.  
  
I smiled at the thought of my best friend. "Yeah man, he is. I wouldn't be here without him, ya know." A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I debated whether to ask Heero about it or not. It wasn't a hard decision to make.  
  
"Hey Heero?"  
  
"...Hn?"  
  
"Am I attractive?"  
  
"...What...?" He sounded real confused.  
  
I sighed. "Am I attractive?" I repeated. "I mean, am I tall and buff- looking and totally masculinely handsome?"  
  
"Why do you ask such useless questions?" He replied.  
  
I sighed and began to toy with the end of my braid. "Because I wanna know. Your question about my scars has got me thinkin' about the rest of my body, ya know. My physical appearance never crossed my mind 'til now, and I wanna know what I look like!"  
  
Heero stopped massaging. "Do you really want to know what I think?" He asked solemnly. "It won't be what you want to hear."  
  
I pondered his words for a moment and frowned. "Are you saying that I'm not attractive?" I asked disappointedly, feeling kind of put-off. "Is it the scars? Am I ugly? I thought I was pretty good lookin' during the War, ya know...I can't have changed that much..." I trailed off, feeling suddenly worried. So screw me, I can't help it if I'm a bit vain. I used to be a total chick magnet.  
  
Heero snorted in amusement. "If you really want the truth, I'll tell you. You're short."  
  
I winced. "Ouch. I'm short? I haven't measured myself in a while...how short am I?"  
  
"Five feet and five inches." Came my prompt reply.  
  
I sighed miserably. "That's how tall I was during the War. Are you sayin' that I didn't grow an inch in five years?!"  
  
"That would appear so. Not only that, but you are fine-boned. You are...petite. And thin."  
  
I gritted my teeth in rising frustration. "You're basically sayin' I'm a girly-boy! Lemme guess, I've got no broad shoulders, no big muscles, no height, and...no masculine handsomeness?!  
  
"Correct."  
  
I was about to scream with despair. What..what about my face?! At least tell me that I've got a handsome face!"  
  
There was a brief moment of silence, and I imagined that Heero was analyzing my face very carefully.  
  
"You have very long and thick eyelashes." He finally replied. "Your nose is small. Your jaw is not square, nor is it big. Your skin color is very, very pale. You have very little masculinity in your features. Does this answer your question?"  
  
Depression caught me in its jaws and ate me all up. I hung my head in defeat. "You...have officially...ruined my perception of myself."  
  
Heero stood up from the bed. "You asked." He said simply.  
  
I sighed and nodded. "Yup I sure did, and now I regret it. At least I might be able to see for myself when the operation is over. Hey...speaking of the operation, when am I going to meet Doctor J?"  
  
"He has already met you."  
  
I was confused. "Huh?"  
  
"When you were brought in three days ago." Heero explained. "Doctor J saw you then, and has already administered three of the seven laser treatments."  
  
I brushed a hand through my messy hair. "So...I have another treatment scheduled for today, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
I nodded to myself in contemplation. "Alright then. Um...I'm kinda tired. Do I have time to rest for a while?  
  
"Three hours. I will come back to get you when that time is up."  
  
The sound of Heero's footsteps slowly receded, and the electronic door swished open.  
  
"Wait!" I found myself crying out.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
I felt myself flush in embarrassment. "Uh...thanks, Heero." I said quietly. "For the massage...ya know, and for leadin' me around and stuff..."  
  
"...Aa."  
  
The sound of the door swished shut, and I knew Heero had left the room.  
  
Sighing to myself, I felt around for the blanket, and then pulled it up to my chest. To my dismay, I found myself thinking about Heero again. His massage had really helped, and my leg didn't hurt very much anymore. I snorted softly and couldn't help but smile. Who would of thought a soldier could massage so well?  
  
I yawned and turned over to my side. Maybe Heero isn't so bad after all.  
  
********  
  
Heero was true to his word. Three hours later, he roused me from my bed and we were off to see the world famous Doctor J.  
  
I was a bit apprehensive about meeting the good doctor...because I always imagined him to be a cackling looney who loved to tinker with strange things like huge creepy machines, or vials of human embryos filled with green slime. Like a mad scientist. A genius mad scientist.  
  
However it turned out that the real Doctor J didn't fit my expectations at all.  
  
He was still a genius, yes, but he was also cold, impersonal, and to the point. He kind of reminded me of Heero...except that he didn't give me a massage.  
  
I found myself disliking the Doctor immediately.  
  
"Hello, Duo. I'm pleased to see that you are awake." Was the first thing that came out of J's mouth. The words sounded fine, but the way he said them didn't. He was complete monotone, and I found myself thinking that maybe J and Heero were father and son.  
  
"Err...Hello." I greeted, a bit uncomfortably.  
  
And that was the end of introductions. He didn't talk to me at all for the next hour and a half.  
  
"Heero, you know the routine." J had said, and I quickly found myself led to a strange metal chair and strapped down with leather buckles. Heero had strapped me down maybe a bit too tight, because the leather bit into my wrists and ankles most uncomfortably. The entire laboratory also smelled strongly of chemicals, and I found myself fidgeting.  
  
I could hear the Doctor fiddling with something off to my right, and except for those noises, everything was silent. It was very unnerving.  
  
I don't know how much time passed, but finally I couldn't take the silence anymore.  
  
"Is this going to hurt?" I asked nervously.  
  
There was a rustle to my left, and something hard was pressed to my lips. "Drink this." Heero instructed quietly, and unthinkingly, I opened my mouth to let him tip the liquid inside.  
  
I nearly gagged.  
  
"Relax." Heero ordered. "Swallow it all. It's part of the procedures."  
  
I reluctantly obeyed, even though it set my lungs on fire. When I finished, Heero removed the container from my lips, and I gasped for air, trying to get rid of the smelly, acrid taste that clung to my taste buds and refused to let go.  
  
"What the hell was that!" I demanded loudly once I got my bearings together.  
  
"A chemical solution that is critical to the operation." Heero replied, and held another container to my lips. "Drink."  
  
I warily obeyed, discovering to my relief that it was only water. I gulped it down gratefully and the taste of chemicals was washed away.  
  
"Thanks man, that's a lot better." I gasped out once I finished. Drops of water slipped down my chin and I felt like wiping it away, until I remembered that my limbs were still strapped down.  
  
I frowned. "Heero, are these straps really necessary?" I asked.  
  
"Yes." Heero replied.  
  
Before I could ask him why, Doctor J finished tinkering with the instruments. "Alright, everything is set up. Let's begin."  
  
I started to fidget again.  
  
"Don't move." Heero whispered quietly. "If you do, it will only prolong the procedures. You don't want to be sitting in that chair longer then you have to."  
  
I held still, and Heero slipped another strap onto my body. This one wrapped around my forehead and anchored my head firmly in place.  
  
"Finished." Heero muttered, and the sound of his footsteps told me that he had joined the Doctor somewhere on the other side of the room.  
  
"Good." J responded, and then he walked over to me and attached two round 'somethings' to my eyelids.  
  
All this was very strange, but I didn't move an inch because Heero had told me not to.  
  
"Begin the treatment." J commanded.  
  
There was a strange whirring in the back round, and the round things on my eyelids suddenly began to feel warm. I furrowed my brow, and the whirring grew louder. A few seconds later, the round things became hotter, and I began to feel uncomfortable.  
  
Doctor J touched the things on my eyes as if inspecting it. Whatever he found must've agreed with him, because the next thing he said was "Flip the first switch."  
  
And then what happened next is something that I don't think I'll ever forget. Electricity suddenly began shooting out of the things on my eyes. The shocks burrowed right through my eyeballs and deep into my brain.  
  
The pain took me by surprise, and I couldn't help but gasp and jerk against my straps. "What the fuck!" I yelped out loud.  
  
The shocks kept coming, and I couldn't do anything but clench my jaw and try not to move...which was pretty damn hard because of the pain.  
  
This went on for a minute or two, and then..."Flip the second switch." J muttered. I nearly panicked when he said those words, and then I swear to god my body began to convulse or something because the shocks suddenly became stronger.  
  
What the hell was J tryin' to do?! Fry my brain until I was a vegetable? I was seriously on the verge of screaming out right now. I mean, I can't feel the shocks going into my brain since there are no nerves there, but I can feel them strike the back of my head, which only told me how strong the electricity was.  
  
"Itaii..." I couldn't help but groan aloud, and my hands clenched into tight fists. Distantly I wondered if this is what it felt like to be sitting in the electric chair.  
  
Unfortunately for me, the treatment didn't stop at the second switch. I was concentrating too hard on the pain to hear J call for the third switch, but I definitely felt it.  
  
The pain increased ten-fold. I cried out hoarsely and my body tried to arch off the cold metal chair, only to be held back by the straps. Hm...I can see why there was even a need for the straps now.  
  
My eyes were burning. Seriously, that's what it felt like. Doctor J had set my eyeballs on fire, and they were going to burn into a crisp because of him.  
  
My entire body trembled, and I was on the verge of hyperventilating. This felt almost worse then my interrogation sessions during the War. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, something began building up behind my eyelids. It was a strange, fiery pressure that swelled with every burst of electricity.  
  
Liquid leaked from the corner of my eyes, and I was afraid that it wasn't tears.  
  
"S-s...stop it..." I ground out hoarsely. "Sstop...it hurts...gods..."  
  
The pressure built up more and more, until I thought that if my eyeballs hadn't been burnt to a crisp, they were going to burst in my head.  
  
I wasn't right, but it felt like that anyway.  
  
The painful pressure in my eyes suddenly exploded, and then all I could see was white.  
  
Please Review. ^_^ 


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